


Aisles to Aisles, Dust to Dust

by doctor_badass



Series: Fem!Slash February 2014 [1]
Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, F/F, Femslash February, Gender or Sex Swap, Genderbending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-11
Updated: 2014-02-11
Packaged: 2018-01-11 22:59:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1178971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctor_badass/pseuds/doctor_badass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A date with Carla the Scientist and Cecilia Palmer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Aisles to Aisles, Dust to Dust

**Author's Note:**

> WILL try to post all within the month of February, but you know how the life of a writer goes- shaky and unpredictable at best

“In other news, the preschool program has announced its temporary closure, due to an incident of cannibalistic students last Tuesday. All children who have not had their legs chewed off are recommended to never attend a public education facility again, and be taught the deep and ancient history of the mysterious patterns of stars in the sky by the cloaked figures who only appear once every eleven months. All children who are now missing limbs should most likely sign up for the limb donor waiting list, which can be found in a locked file cabinet of the office of a long missing secretary to the mayor in an abandoned section of city hall. Once again, thank you for participating in the raffle for the still beating heart of the first known settler of our town. Following the program will be several hours of the last breaths of every single one of your ancestors. Good night, Night Vale. Good night.”

As the red “On air” sign flickered slowly off, Cecilia removed her headphones, leaning back in her chair, which growled and bristled at the sudden movement. Tonight’s broadcast had gone well, with only a few interruptions from unseen forces with ill intent. 

A tap on the glass made her chair swivel, hissing slightly. Dana the Intern pressed a small notepad up to the window separating the two rooms, upon which she had written, “Carla here. Waiting for you in parking lot.”

Clapping her hand over her mouth in surprise, Cecila stifled a small squeal. How could she have forgotten? It must have been that darn microchip that had been implanted in her (and everyone’s) head since birth. They had been acting up recently, controlling citizens’ minds and  causing them to bury themselves alive and such...

Grabbing a cup of the strongest Telekinetic Tea she had with one hand, throwing on her overcoat with another hand, and straightening her hair with a third, she dashed out the door, barely avoiding the swinging axe that someone had installed over the studio door as some sort of silly joke. 

Carla was waiting in the lot, scraping residue off of the statue that occupied the area where several parking spaces should be. 

“We found it here a few weeks ago,” Cecilia said, desperately trying not to check her reflection in the window of the Sheriff’s Secret Police surveillance van. “No one knows who the statue is of, yet. The interns we sent down here to investigate turned into statues themselves.”

The scientist turned, smiling with her teeth like a military cemetery and sweeping her wild and perfect hair out of her face. The statue of an ancient and hunched man crept a little closer behind her, and Cecilia decided not to mention it.

“Are you ready for our date?” Carla asked, tucking her sample into her lab coat. Cecilia shivered a little at the word.

“Well, yes, sure,” she stammered, stretching her hand out for Carla, beautiful, perfect, Carla, to take. 

 

The Night Vale Toy and Used Weaponry Emporium was busy, as usual, which was to say tourists were making as wide a berth around it as possible. Checking the nonfunctioning city clock tower, Cecilia realized why- it was a Thursday, which meant that the city’s parks and recreation department was hosting their weekly self defense class. Rows of the elderly and newborns alike stood in the lobby, preparing to fire their crossbows at targets resembling distant and ancient forms. 

“Hm. Seems like we can get in through the crowds,” said Carla, pushing her way past a large Lego structure of a woman performing a Bloodstone ritual. Her next step landed her directly in the line of fire of a young boy, maybe two or three.

“Carla!” Cecilia cried, after realizing that this boy had not yet earned all four badges which would qualify him as a skilled marksman. 

The scientist turned to Cecilia with a smile just as the child let the bolt fly, whizzing right past Carla’s face and neatly slicing off a lock of her hair. It dropped to the ground, dark and dead and perfect, and lay still for a moment before dissolving into dust. 

Tugging her out of the line of fire, Cecilia squeezed Carla’s hand tight. 

“I think the lab equipment is over there,” Carla gestured, seemingly unfazed by the incident of mere seconds ago. “I usually buy my beakers and flasks for cheap here because they’ve got old stains and remnants of strange experiments, but that’s why I want them.”

They had reached the Dangerous Plants aisle now, where a few children played with a friendly Venus Fly Trap. The next aisle over was Bloodstained Weapons, and the one after that was the Weapons with Parts Missing or Lodged in Another Weapon aisle. 

“That’s just what makes Night Vale so scientifically interesting, don’t you think?” Carla was saying, almost dragging Cecilia behind her. “You never know what you’ll find in the residue of an experiment gone awry!”

“Carla-” Cecilia interjected, but was stopped by her steady stream of scientific excitement.

“Last month, I found traces of Astatine in a beaker! _Astatine!_ Do you realize how rare that is? It hadn’t even vaporized! I called up my friends about it, they didn’t believe me, of course. So they came over, but it vanished _right_ before my eyes _just_ as they were opening the front door! Gosh, it’s just so fascinating here.”

“ _CARLA_ ,” Cecilia tried again. They had reached the Various Spirit Banishment Spells and Handbooks aisle, about seven rows away from the Used and Radioactive Science Equipment Aisle. Only with a hard pull could Cecilia get Carla to stop in her tracks and turn.

They were now face to face, out of breath, as Carla had brought them to a full out sprint in her excitement. 

“Yes, Cecilia?” Carla asked, long eyelashes brushing against the lenses of her glasses when she blinked.

“Oh, nothing,” she said, adjusting her vest nervously, shorter eyelashes barely fluttering against the lenses of her own glasses when she closed her eyes.

“Really?”

There was a long pause, filled only with the distant clanking of metal on metal as the recreation group began their sword fighting unit.

But then it was filled with the brush of eyelashes against glasses and the brush of lips as Cecilia leaned forward in to bridge the gap between aisles Twelve and Thirteen.


End file.
